ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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