You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
