can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
