There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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