My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
