Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
