I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
