I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
