I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize