You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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