I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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