I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
