Umm I'm too high to move.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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