i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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