She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
