the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
