I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The beers last night were like the tears from god
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad