Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ