I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck