i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
