we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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