I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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