Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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