I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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