I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Randomize