those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
