I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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