i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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