I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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