I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it's like iHOP with fire
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize