i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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