so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize