Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
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