i permit you to call me
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
