you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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