i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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