I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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