Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
