batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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