mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Swine flu is the new snow day.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
