It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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