..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
