And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
