I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
