I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
