I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
