idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
