Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
