i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
