So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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