I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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