Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I intend to get homeless drunk
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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