dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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