When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
