He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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