you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
