she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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