yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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