your parents love me but you hate me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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