Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
