Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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