Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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