Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.