I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.