It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old