Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
