My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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